Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight Paperback – May 13, 2014
Author: Visit Amazon's M.E. Thomas Page | Language: English | ISBN: 0307956652 | Format: PDF, EPUB
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Q. Were you always aware that you were different?
A. Yes, though when I was young, I thought maybe it was just because I was smarter than everyone else. I saw things that other children did not see, was aware of the adult world in a way that even my smart siblings were not—awkward interactions from the end of an affair, why my grandpa treated my dad differently from his other children (he was adopted), and so on. I knew other people did not see these things because I would reference them and get blank stares in return. I learned to keep things to myself, even to pretend I didn’t see them. Those were probably some of my first attempts to wear a mask of normalcy.
Q. What are the common characteristics/behaviors shared by most sociopaths? Do they describe you, too?
A. Lack of remorse or concern for hurting or stealing; being deceitful, manipulative, impulsive, irritable, aggressive, and consistently irresponsible; failure to conform to social norms; and being unconcerned about people’s safety, including their own. You need to have at least three of these to be a sociopath. I have them all, to varying degrees.
Q. You believe that sociopaths have a natural competitive advantage. Why?
A. Sociopaths have several skills that lend themselves to success in areas such as politics and business: charm, an ability to see and exploit weaknesses/flaws (which in politics is called “power-broking” and in business, “arbitrage”), confidence, unflagging optimism, an ability to think outside the box and come up with original ideas, and a lack of squeamishness about doing what it takes to get ahead.
Q. If you don’t have a sense of morality, or feel the emotions that most people do, how are you able to operate in the world without being detected?
A. I think everyone learns to lie about his or her emotions to a certain extent; I just take it a step farther. People ask, “How are you?” and you respond, “fine,” even though you had a fight with your spouse that morning, have a sick child, or any multitude of things that make it hard for you to feel fine about almost anything in your life. You could honestly answer the question, but you don’t because overt displays of strong emotion in ordinary social interactions are not accepted. Most of the time I don’t need to show any emotion at all, and I try to limit the times that I do by begging off attending funerals, weddings, etc. When I do show up to these functions, I try to mimic the other attendees. If I’m dealing with a person one-on-one, I just try to reflect their emotions; usually they’re distracted enough by their own overflowing emotions not to notice my lack of them.
Q. Research shows that one in twenty-five people is a sociopath, yet most of us believe we’ve never met one. Are we just kidding ourselves? Are you able to spot them?
A. Statistically, everyone has met at least one sociopath; in fact, most people will have a close encounter with a sociopath at some point in their lives, either as a friend, family member, or lover. Sometimes I can tell who they are. I find that many successful sociopaths will leave deliberate clues as to what they are, the thought being that only other sociopaths would recognize them. I think sociopaths, like serial killers, often have a yearning to be acknowledged for who they are. They want people to admire their exploits, and that is hard to get when they are completely hidden, so they make small compromises.
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- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: Broadway Books; Reprint edition (May 13, 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0307956652
- ISBN-13: 978-0307956651
- Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #37,086 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
At least she is coming out to all but her family. This is written as a confessional/memoir of its author Monica E. Thomas,a pseudonym, necessitated by the subject matter and to protect her present socioeconomic life.
Having just read the reviews written before mine, it would seem I am the first to have actually read the entire book, well, at least, so far.
I would agree with the other reviewers that the book is technically well written, but does get long in the tooth by the half way mark, with many points being repeated several times which lengthened the book with no apparent advantage that I could ascertain; otherwise I would have given 4 stars.
I would agree that the author as self described is unlikeable, but whom I found very interesting simply because I am a retired psychologist and spent the last ten years working with female murderers. The author goes into some detail in trying to distinguish psychopaths, sociopaths, and person with anti-social personality disorder; but for the majority of the world these distinctions are exercises in semantics only. To help clarify this point, as the author takes some time discussing her rational for the distinction. A psychiatrist, Hervey Clecky wrote the magnum opus on psychopathology in 1941 in a book called MASK OF SANITY; he might be better known to you for his book on multiple personality disorder which was turned into a movie in 1957 called THE THREE FACES OF EVE. A Dr. Robert Hare building upon Clecky's work devised a 20 question scale to judge antisocial personality disorder. He only used convicts to base his results on, so it is not representative of the general population and certainly doesn't have the background of the MMPI.
ME Thomas claims to be a Dexter but she really is a Saddam Hussein. I come from a malignant narcissist home and Thomas speaks and rationalizes just like the narcissists I know. Search for the fairy tales of the malignant narcissist and you will see. Here is a description of Malignant Narcissism from Goldner-Vukov and Moore (Psychiatria Danubina, 2010; Vol. 22, No. 3, pp 392-405); in parentheses are my examples of how her confessions match up to this disorder:
1. They are contemptuous of social conventions and show a passive tendency to lie, steal, and mismanage money. (in other words her disdain for risks keeps her undetected)
2.They are adaptive, capable of consistent hard work and of achieving success (she's a lawyer). However, their work is done primarily to gain admiration (writing this book) and their intellect is strikingly shallow. They are often materialistic (she tells us of driving off in a muscle car and wearing nice clothes in her opossum drowning story) and ready to shift their values to gain favour (her claim to be a chameleon). They are prone to pathological lying (details are contradictory, her father was a hateful petty guy on one page but did his best on another page). In the realm of love and sexuality they are charming (what she calls her sociopath charm), seductive and promiscuous (she tells of her promiscuity), but unable to develop deep relationships.
3. The ego-syntonic sadism of MN is displayed by a characterologically-anchored aggression. It is expressed in a conscious `ideology' of aggressive self-affirmation (she knowingly wants to make others feel bad about themselves and mess up their plans).
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