Desperate Marriages

Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition]

Author: | Language: English | ISBN: B005B7R208 | Format: PDF, EPUB

• Description
• Book Details
• Table of Contents
• Reviews

Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship
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When you said, "I do," you entered marriage with high hopes. You dreamed that your marriage would be supremely happy. You never intended it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn't have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, "I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage." As you listen to Desperate Marriages, the revised and updated edition of the award-winning book Loving Solutions, you will learn how to recognize and reject the myths that hold you captive, better understand your spouse's behavior, take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, and make choices that can have a lasting, positive impact on you and your spouse.

Also, learn what to do if your spouse is irresponsible, a workaholic, controlling, uncommunicative, verbally abusive, physically abusive, sexually abusive, unfaithful, addicted to alcohol or drugs, or depressed.

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• Audible Audio Edition
• Listening Length: 6 hours and 17 minutes
• Program Type: Audiobook
• Version: Unabridged
• Publisher: Oasis Audio
• Audible.com Release Date: July 5, 2011
• Language: English
• ASIN: B005B7R208

Desperate Marriages:
Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship
by
Gary Chapman
Review by
Anthony J. Centore Ph.D.

* * *
After Gary Chapman wrote the International Best Seller The Five Love Languages, myriad of spinoffs were published: The Five Love Languages of Children, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers, The Five Love Languages for Singles, The Heart of the Five Love Languages, The Five Languages of Apology, and The Love Languages of God; not to mention what appears to be several updated revisions of the aforementioned.

Rest assured, this book barely mentions the five love languages--keeping it to a minimum of just two pages in the first chapter, two pages in the back. Done. Finished. Life moves on. Finally.

In Desperate Marriages, Chapman promotes a philosophy he refers to as "Reality Living," of which there are six rules: (1) I am responsible for my attitude, (2) My attitude affects my actions, (3) I cannot change others, but I can influence others, (4) My emotions do NOT control my actions, (5) Admitting my imperfections does not mean I am a failure, (6) Love is the most powerful weapon for good in the world.

Basic Impressions:

This book is well put together. It is quality material. The reader with real marital problems and needing real information will get real information. For instance, the book speaks about divorce in chapter one--a smart move, for this is certainly on the mind of someone who is in a desperate marriage. Chapman states, "while divorce removes some pressures, it creates a host of others." Moreover, the book contains some good psychology (which any counselor reader will recognize as being of the CBT persuasion), and Chapman aptly references William Glasser (i.e.

If you've read Chapman before, you're probably aware of his concept of "love languages." In a nutshell, the idea is that everyone has one or more ways that they most need to "experience" being loved. These languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Chapman believes that if we challenge ourselves to love our spouses using THEIR love language -- and they do the same for us -- marital harmony will result.

In Desperate Marriages, Chapman walks couples through applying these concepts to the most difficult of situations: marriages in crisis. In these situations, it's not quite as simple as just using the right love language. Usually, one or more myths stand in the way of the love language exchange.

He identifies four "myths" which he believes will make it impossible to save a desperate marriage:

1. My environment determines my state of mind.
2. People can't change.
3. In a desperate marriage, I have only two options -- either resigning myself to a life of misery, or getting out.
4. My situation is hopeless.

But then he counters by offering six "realities," or principles, which bust those myths and can lead to marriage-transforming change. He calls the application of these principles "Reality Living." They are as follows:

1. I am responsible for my own attitude.
2. My attitude affects my actions.
3. I cannot CHANGE others, but I can INFLUENCE others.
4. My emotions do not control my actions.
5. Admitting my imperfections does not mean that I am a failure.
6. Love is the most powerful weapon for good in the world.

Chapman uses conceptual these tools of myths, realities and love languages to show how to repair a variety of desperate marriages.

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